#family · #life

If You Were Here…

This year I lost someone very dear to me. A big sister, friend, confidant, and one of my biggest cheerleaders in life passed away  several months ago from cancer. This Christmas was my first Christmas without her (you can read a little about my grief process in a post I wrote about her here) and I can’t help but think about what this Christmas would have been like with her loving presence.

Lou, my dear friend, if you were here…

We would have already arranged for a time and date to get together while on the phone for one of our routine catch-ups. Of course, we would have to be creative and adjust a little this year because I’m married and, undoubtedly, you would want my husband to join us in our girl time (so you can hug and kiss on him too).

We’d probably plan to celebrate Christmas a week or so before the 25th because you’re so loved by so many people that you’d try to find a way to spend some part of the holiday with all of us. Between me, your nieces and nephews, their children, your sisters, and your friends who you claim as family, this time of the year is VERY busy for you.

If you were here…

We’d get together to cook for each other and swap stories about life’s joys and challenges. I’d tell you about my new job, being a newly wed, and my new list of potential baby names.

You would tell me about one of your many trips to see “so-and-so from this place” with pictures to help tell the stories. I’d get that person mixed up with someone else and you would correct me by saying, “Oh, Ketra! Remember, he/she is the person that….Yea. You remember!”

Confession: sometimes I know who you’re talking about and sometimes I just nod and say, “Oh yea! Ok, I remember now!” Haha!

If you were here…

We’d exchange gifts, take pictures with each other (you would insist on an impromptu photoshoot) and watch a movie while eating snacks. We’d also try to stay up as late as possible as to soak up as much quality time as possible.

We’d spend a couple hours or an overnight stay together before embracing in one of your squeeze-you-so-tight-that-time-freezes hugs. You would say how much you’ve enjoyed our time together and it was fun to have my husband join us this year. We’d plan to call each other soon and kiss good-bye until the next time…

I’m sure this is how our 17th Christmas would have unfolded if I was granted a wish to still have you here with us. Nevertheless, I am grateful for almost two decades of love, laughs, and memories.

Merry Christmas, my darling Lou…




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