So, I did a thing…
I HAD A BABY!!!
On December 14, 2019 my beautiful baby girl, Yiannis, was born via C section after 2 days of labor.
I thought I would have a smooth labor and delivery experience considering the pregnancy itself nearly TOOK. ME. OUT!
I went ghost soon after becoming pregnant (only writing 3 blog posts: Moving to the Hood: Motherhood , Pregnancy is Underrated and It’s Called a VAGINA! ) because I either felt too sick or too tired to do anything besides focus on getting through the work day hour by hour.
I can still remember being at my appt where my nurse practitioner confirmed my pregnancy. I could comprehend what she was saying, but I felt somewhat disconnected from my new diagnosis because I felt so…normal. I even said to her, “I don’t even feel pregnant!” My nurse practitioner looked at me, smiled and said, “Well, you might start to feel something around 5 weeks.”
Oh I felt “something” alright! Here were the worse parts:
- Weeks 4-8 it felt like I was carrying bricks in my breasts. Each one was so heavy and painful. It also felt like someone was stabbing me with knives. I would have to hold them before lifting my body from the bed to lessen the impact of the pain and the weight of them.
- I did not have heartburn, but I experienced indigestion that made simple things, like talking and breathing, annoying. Every 3-5 minutes I was burping up some undigested food in either solid or liquid form. If I wasn’t bringing up food, I was burping stomach acid.
- Week 11 I was on a liquid diet because anything solid I ate always came back up. I would have protein shakes, chicken broth and popsicles for my meals.
- After 20 weeks my wrists checked out. It wasn’t pregnancy related carpel tunnel, but my doctor said I was experiencing a type of tendinitis in both wrists because the ligaments in my body were loosening in preparation for labor. The result was a sharp pain or burning sensation in my wrists when I would use them. How often do you use your wrists in a day?
By far, the worst pregnancy symptom was the nausea and vomiting. I suffered from “all day sickness” from weeks 5 until 20 and then morning sickness and vomiting until the day before she was born at 39 weeks and 3 days. The stomach acid crossing over my tongue for 200+ days left my tongue completed eroded. Honey mustard was spicy to me. HONEY. MUSTARD!
At 15 weeks I was prescribed Reglan in the emergency room after vomiting so much I could no longer keep down water.
I am all too familiar with the toilet seats and floors of several bathrooms at my workplace. Many of my co workers know the sound of food being violently ejected from my body. The vomit seemed to rush from my body at high speeds.
So much, in fact, that when the vomit would hit the water of the toilet bowl the water would splash back into my mouth.
So much, in fact, that sometimes food would not only come out of my mouth but also out of my nose. Have you ever felt spaghetti noodles and ground beef come up from your throat and come out of your nose? It feels a lot like suffocating.
So much, in fact, that when I would vomit my whole body would convulse and I ended up having an accident at work. Substance flowed from my mouth and my bottom AT THE SAME TIME. To make it worse, I wasn’t sitting on the toilet because I was hovering over it. I left work hoping there wasn’t a trail of feces behind me in the hallways as I walked to my car. I didn’t even bother to wash those underclothes. It would have been a lost cause. R.I.P Victoria Secret thong.
This was my life from April – December. The reward? This:
(I’m pretty sure she was making a dirty diaper here, but it’s still cute hahaha!)
Overall, I would rate my pregnancy experience a C+. Was it worth it? Yes. Am I grateful I was able to experience being pregnant? Yes. Am I OBSESSED with this little girl and wouldn’t change it for the world? Yes. Would I do it again? Absolutely not. (And no, I don’t think I will change my mind in a year.)
Love and support to any woman who hated being pregnant. In this culture, it’s almost a curse word to say pregnancy, for some of us, sucks. It’s not the same as saying you hate your baby. I am no less of a mother because I loathed the process by which she came into the world. I can be grateful for the experience, and still be able to say it wasn’t fun.
What was your pregnancy experience like?